Lily and Luke’s conversation continues……
ED: clover, eristol
It is only natural in a sense, but what should I do? My head hurts.
“So? Why did Milady suddenly start doing unusual things like ‘reflecting’?”
“By unusual, you mean…”
“It was unusual, so I don’t think I am mistaken. Well, I’m glad if Milady has had a change of heart, but it was too sudden and I don’t think I will believe it.”
“So, I wonder if there is a reason behind this. For example…this is just a test for me, and you will get very angry later.”
Testing a servant is a method used by a master to confirm the loyalty of their servant, but as expected I never thought of doing that sort of thing.
“Truly…I wonder to what extent I will be suspected. It will be good if you obediently accept those words exactly as stated.”
Haah, when I sighed while holding my cheek, Luke said.
“Well, that’s because, Milady, you didn’t seriously reflect on your actions, did you? Certainly, I think that you do feel bad about throwing harsh words. But, I don’t think you feel particularly bad about everything else. Rather, you think that the actions you took are right, that it was only natural.”
“See, as expected.”
He attacked my weak point. To me who was speechless because he hit the mark, Luke said with a bitter smile.
“It’s fine. I also don’t think that Milady’s attitudes were all bad. Because I am a servant, and I am employed by you. I also receive wages and food, clothing and shelter are guaranteed. On the other hand, it is only natural that I reciprocate with my loyalty. I just did not reach the level that you wanted. That’s why I was scolded. That’s just how it is.”
“That’s……right, but……sometimes I lashed at you unreasonably. No matter what anyone says, I am at fault.”
I felt pleased that he thought the same way as I did, but the times I shouted at him in anger were not few. When I recalled that, I couldn’t easily agree and say “Yes. I’m not bad at all.”
“How honest. But after you said that, I finally realized that Milady is taking this seriously. So, I will also be honest.”
Pausing his words, Luke stared at me. He had a serious expression on his face and I realized that he was going to say his true feelings for the first time.
“Venting your anger on me. Slandering me. If you can improve even just these two, I won’t ask for anything more. The usual Milady is fine. To begin with, it’s unpleasant that Milady suddenly became gentle. The selfish Milady who says 『I don’t like that』 『This is good』 『No, this is not what I wanted. As expected, this is still hot 』 is fine.”
“…I’m scared. Is it really fine with just that?”
“It’s fine. I am disqualified as a servant, to have let my master endure so much. Well, if life, as it was before today, continued for decades ahead, I indeed might have thrown away everything; because I would have loathed everything, both my life and Milady. But in this way, I learned that Milady is going to improve somewhat. Therefore, I will also make an effort. To make Milady happy. I will not let my master be the only one making efforts. Isn’t that my duty as a servant?”
While nodding, I was breaking in cold sweats.
—As expected, I might not have been all bad.
That was dangerous. I definitely don’t want to think about being hated by Luke who is taking care of me.
I don’t know what Luke thinks, but I trust Luke.
Because Luke is mine. Whatever happened, I thought that he would follow me unconditionally, no matter what he said.
But, there is nothing absolute.
I know that would be impossible.
His loyalty wouldn’t last if the unreasonable treatment continues. That’s just natural if I think about it a little.
Even if I am his life benefactor.
—I’m glad I noticed it yesterday.
I thought that Luke’s attitude was abnormal, but now I can hear his true feelings. And everything is thanks to Al.
It is because Al didn’t make fun of my consultation but listened and advised me properly that this moment could happen.
The next time we meet, I will report the things that happened today. If so, will he praise me?
Will he smile because I did well?
It seems fun just by imagining it.
“Thanks to Al…”
It seems that I subconsciously said those words out loud. I was flustered and tried to gloss it over, but then I stopped as it wasn’t necessary to hide it.
“To be honest, I consulted His Highness Alan about you a while ago, and he advised me to apologize to you properly.”
“His Highness Alan? Um, your engagement with him was officially approved yesterday, right?”
“Yes. However, I think that it is only for now.”
Yesterday and today, I realized that I deserve to be called the worst. After all, I am not suitable to become his betrothed.
Of course, if I cannot become the perfect lady, I don’t think I can stand next to him, but until that time he won’t be restricted to waiting. There is no guarantee that our engagement will continue.
—I hope he will wait.
In truth, I want to stand next to him.
I don’t want to see him find a new partner.
But, it is probably obstructive to think so. So, if that time comes, and he wants to cancel our engagement…
—To be honest, I will bless him.
Along with a wonderful smile.
“Congratulations. Yes, of course, I agree to dissolve our engagement.”
That’s the only thing I can do for Al who has been helping me.
My heart suddenly hurt. Pretending to not feel anything, I continued rambling towards Luke.
The next two chapters will be in Luke’s POV!